Thursday, May 7, 2009

Sniglets - Words that don't appear in the dictionary, but should.

A sniglet is a word that should be in the dictionary but isn't. Sniglets are the brainchild of comedian Rich Hall who, with a little help from his friends, wrote a series of books containing sniglets in the mid-eighties. While Rich Hall invented the word "sniglet" itself, sniglets are actually a long-running popular joke in which people make up their own humorous words to define things or concepts that have no "official" definitions.

Aquadextrous - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
Baldage - n. The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.
Bazookacidal Tendencies - n. The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the gigantic gum bubble billowing from someone's mouth.
Beavo - n. A pencil with teeth marks all over it.
Bleemus - n. The disgusting film on the top of soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
Blithwapping - v. Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.
Blotch - To slap the bottom of a ketchup bottle with increasing intensity to get some of it on your plate.
Blurfle - v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.
Bobblogesture - The classroom activity of not knowing an answer, but raising one's hand anyway (after determining that a suffucient number of people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the liklihood of actually being called on).
Bomca - n. A lubricant derived from the salivary gland used for turning book pages.
Bozone (n.) - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Brazel - n. The scratch plate on a matchbook.
Bursploot - v. To position one's thumb at the end of a garden hose to increase the pressure.
Buttnick - The crevice on the ash tray where the cigarette rests.
Cabnicreep - n. The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
Carbonicles-the tiny drops of soda thrown into the air above your glassafter you pour it.
Chalktrauma - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
Drylowgraphs - Strange, unintelligible symbols that accompany the washing instructions on clothing labels
Cheedle - n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos
Chronesia - The tendency not to know the time when asked, even though you have just looked at your watch.
Cleanundrum - The act of cleaning up a room or closet and then not being able to find something that you knew where it was before you decided to clean.
Clunes - n., pl. People who just won't go.
Combiloops - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker.
The Cranial Stomp - n. A somewhat primitive dance performed by youngsters trying to step on the heads of their shadows.
Cubelo - n. The one cube left by the person too lazy to refill the ice tray.
Deodorend - n. The last 1/2 inch of stick deodorant that won't turn up out of the tube, and thus cannot be used without inducing lacerations.
Detruncus - n. The embarrassing phenomenon of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming pool.
Dillrelict - n. The last pickle in the jar that avoids all attempts to be captured.
Dipwavers - n. People who raise their hands when riding on roller coasters.
Doork (dawrk) - n. A person who always pushes on a door marked "pull" or vice versa.
Dopeler effect - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Elbonics - n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Ellacelleration - The mistaken belief that repeatedly pressing the elevator button will make it go faster
Erdu (uhr' dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
Eufirstics (yew fur' stiks) - n. Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.
Famamage (fa mam' aj) - v. To eliminate any annoying engine noise by simply turning up the volume of the radio.
Fetchplex (fech' pleks) - n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.
Fictate (fik' tayt) - v. To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.
Flarpswitch (flarp' switch) - n. The one light switch in every house with no function whatsoever.
Flopcorn (flop' korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.
Foys (foyz) - n. Missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that you later find stuck to the underside of your arm.
Frust (n): The line of dust that accumulates when sweeping dust into a dust pan and frustratingly backs you up because you can never get it into the pan.
Furnidents - The indendations that appear on carpets after a piece of furniture has been removed.
Gazinta (gah zin' tuh) - n. Mathematical symbol for division; also the sound uttered when dividing out loud.
Glarpo - The juncture of the ear and skull where pencils are stored.
Glassable - n. anything that a parent tells a child not to go near because it can be broken (especially something made of glass)
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Gleemites - n. Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.
Gleemule (glee' mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle.
Gnarmblum - The dry wrinky area at the end of the elbow.
Grackles (grak' elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the body after staying in water too long.
Grantnap (grant' nap) - n. The extra five minutes of sleep you allow yourself that somehow makes all the difference in the world.
Greedling - Pretending to read the inscription on the birthday card, when you really just want to see how much it costs.
Grintiger (grin' tuh jer) - n. The numbered code on the back of a greeting card that, when deciphered, reveals the price.
Grinion - The insightly indentation in the middle of a belt when it has been worn too long
Gription (grip' shun) - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor during basketball games.
Gweek - n. A coat hanger recycled as a car aerial.
Houndwounding - canine act of circling a spot 3-4 times before sitting on it.
Hystioblogination (his' te o blahg in ay' shun) - n. The act of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and shaking it.
Idiolocator n.- The symbol on a mall or amusement park map representing "You Are Here"
Idiot Box - n. The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Inknition - The metal clicker at the top of a ball-point pen that puts it into operation.
Jukejitters (jook' jit erz) - n. Fear that everyone thinks that you picked the awful tune emanating from the jukebox when it was actually the person before you.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Key Fruit - n. The one apple, pear, or tomato in the stand that, when removed, causes all the others to tumble forward.
Knimpel - The missing last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.
Krogling (kroh' gling) - n. The nibbling of small items of fruit and produce at the supermarket, which the customer considers "free sampling" and the owner considers "shoplifting".
Lexplexed - Unable to find the correct spelling for a word in the dictionary because you do not know how to spell it e.g. rendezvous (rawn-de-voo) / faux pas (foe-paa)
Linenarctica - The corner of the bed that is impossible to reach when putting on new sheets.
Loggium (log' yum) - n. Water that drips from one's nose hours after swimming.
Lorp (lawrp) - n. The part of the shoe that collapses when you try to pull it on without a shoehorn.
Lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges itself between one's teeth.
Marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a roll of cellophane tape.
Medipeep - Uncontrollable urge to look into a host's bathroom cabinet to see what kind of accessories he uses.
Meganegabar - The line you draw across the amount section to prevent people from adding digits.
Merferator - The cardboard core in a toilet roll
Motspur (mot' sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the other three.
Mozzalastics (maht suh las' tiks) - n. Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.
Multipochoholes (mul ti po' cho holz) - n. Wounds left in the test papers from overerasing.
Napression Marks (n): Those indentation lines on your face created by your bedding when you when you wake up.
Narcolepulacy (nar ko lep' ul ah see) - n. The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight to also yawn.
Nicometer (nik oh mee' tee awr) - n. A cigarette that exits though a car's front window and reenters through the back.
Nocturnuggets (nok' ter nuh gitz) - n. Deposits found in one's eye upon awakening in the morning, also called: GOZZAGAREENA, OPTIGOOK, EYEHOCKEY, etc.
Nugloo (nug' lew) - n. Single continuous eyebrow that covers the entire forehead. Also known as a Unibrow.
Omnibiblious - adj. Indifferent to type of drink. "Oh, you can get me anything. I'm omnibiblious."
Oopzama (ewp' za muh) - n. Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.
Opup - To push one's glasses back on the nose.
Optortionist (op tor' shun ist) - n. The kid in school who can turn his eyelids inside out.
Orqo - The small bar turns an O into a Q.
Otisosis (oh tis oh' sis) - n. The inability to meet anyone else's eyes in an elevator.
P-spot (pee' spaht) - n. The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion.
Pajangle (pah jan' gul) - n. Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.
Pedexpression (ped ehx presh' shun) - n. The helpless look on the face of one's pet, that is being played with by rowdy children, as if to say "help!"
Pediddel - n. A car with only one working headlight.
Penciventilation (pen si ven ti lay' shun) - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
Petonic (peh ton' ik) - adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Phosflink - v. To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to life).
Pockalanche - Perpectual action of reaching down to pick up an item fallen from a short pocket, only to have another item fall out.
Picklettulance (pik ul et' yu lans) - n. The ability to remember the entire family's order at a fast-food restaurant.
Pifflesquit (pif' ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding the cork of a champagne bottle.
Pigslice (pig' slys) - n. The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
Prema-cheerio or Toodle-oops - n. The uncomfortable silence shared by two people after they've said good-bye to each other and continue to walk together out of necessity.
Prestofrigeration: The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.
Primpo (prim' po) - n. A person who passes a mirror then has to step back, presumably to reassure himself he still exists.
Profanitype - Special symbols used by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisk, hash, percentage, etc...)
Puntificate (puhn tih' fih kayt) - v. To try to predict in what direction a football will bounce.
Pupkus (pup' kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
Pupsqeak - The sound a yawning dog emits when it opens it's mouth too wide.
Purpitation - v. To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it in another section.
Rohrshirt - A shirt with an ink stain on the pocket.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day.
Scadink - The annoying build-up ofink on the tip of a ball-point pen.
Scotchroter - The wheel left behind, when all the sticky tape is used up.
Scrabitch - The impossible-to-reach area in the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
Scribblics (skrih' bliks) - n. Warm-up exercises designed to get the ink in a pen flowing.
Scribline - n. The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes.
Shirmers - n., pl. Tall young men who stand around smiling at weddings as if to suggest that they know the bride rather well.
Sizzlage - The amount of skin one is ready to sacrifice while testing an iron to make sure it won't burn one's shirt.
Slackjam (slak' jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without first removing shoes.
Slurm - n. The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
Snargle (snar' gul) - v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.
Sniffleridge - Trough leading form the nose to upper lip.
Sniglet (snig'lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
Snigletologists-people who have nothing better to do than sit around thinking up sniglets
Squanderprint (skwan' duhr print) - n. Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would. (Ex.: Apply shampoo. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
Squinchooing - Staring up at the sun to expedite a sneeze.
Stroodle (stru' dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.
Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) - n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Teloustic - The tendency for people to shout into the phone when calling long distances.
Testlice (test' lys) - n. Those tiny bugs that invade your hair when you're taking an exam.
Thrickle (thri' kel) - n. The itch in the back of the throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises.
Thrub - The samll web of skin between the thumb and the index finger that makes us 0.0005% amphibian.
Twinch (twinch) - n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise.
Umbrace (uhm' brays) - n. The small strap that holds an umbrella in place.
Upuls (yu' puls) - n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending.
Waftic (wahf' tik) - adj. Describes any person in whose direction campfire or barbeque smoke always blows.
Wiskage - The gravitational property that causes clothes to stick to the outside of the drum after the spin cycle.
Yafling - Speaking loudly with foreigners, as if, somehow, you think it makes them understand you better.
Yorange - The disgusting white threads that hang from an orange when it has been peeled.
Yinkel - n. A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.
Yotate (yoh' tayt) - v. To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.
Zeept (zeept) - n. The accumulation of dead insects around an electric bug fryer.
Zipcuffed (zip' cuft) - v. To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.

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