Preach and Practice - Which is Easier?

Life is a paradox in itself…there are contradictions at every step. While making your New Year resolutions, one of them is surely linked with health – mine too was to eat less sweet, and here I am, just can’t come out of sweet. Similarly, people say that they want to work in organizations that provide them with job contentment, but don’t most of them end-up chasing the paycheck with the maximum digits?

People like you and me will believe in lots of things and will also talk about it all the time, giving ‘gyaan’ to others surrounding us; however, how much of it, do we REALLY practice? Well, my answer to it is – It is impossible to do it completely.

I may not be able to lessen 100% of the weight of contradiction that we undergo every single day; however, I may be able to guide you towards the first step in lessening their impact on your life.

I will take you to the days when we were studying Cognitive Dissonance in our Psychology class. This indeed sounds like a fancy term, but refers to something extremely simple. It refers to the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two contradictory ideas (To Be or Not to Be…!). This happens when we believe in eating healthy food, but cannot resist Pizza Hut. It also happens when we believe in time management but the other person always keeps us waiting. In such a situation, you can make only 2 decisions – first is to rationalize that “the other person is always late because of which my tasks get affected and delayed in the process”. The second is to believe that either it is wrong to be good time manager or wrong to expect that everyone is as good a time manager as you. The reality is that it is indeed easier to rationalize (that’s what we think)…but much more challenging, yet important to change our expectations from all around us.

Once you start being truthful with yourself, just start questioning what you do and why you do it. So much of whatever we do is a result of sheer conditioning and habituation. We do things because we have always been doing it. This makes it all the more important to start questioning these things: Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why do I believe what I believe? More often than not, we'll see that the real answer to those questions is: because I've been told/conditioned/manipulated, etc. to do so. Then, and only then (once this is acknowledged), can we start living true to ourselves. Thus, it's important to question both what we preach and what we practice. Maybe we'll see that one, either, or even both aren't really based on anything valid at all, but rather conditioning, fear, and basic selfish desire.

My next thought leads me towards self-control. The most important thing here is, if you have knowledge of something – believe it in first honestly. You know that junk food is bad for health, but do you believe in it? Don’t you keep proliferating this to everyone, but still end up lying to yourself by eating those scrumptious ‘pani-puri’s’? Well, first Believe! The next step is to begin with little steps.

I remember, I used to work for 15 to 16 hours, without feeling tired; but, gradually realized that it started taking a toll on my personal and social life. This realization did not lead to a magical, over-night change. It took me time to shift my behaviors and habits to what I believed were true and here I am today working from 0930 to 1830 hrs, giving complete effectiveness and efficiency at work and of course, having lots of time for myself, family and friends.

You will realize that this post talks about the core of how we change things in our lifestyle. The trick is to just be honest with the person called ME. Remember, rationalization is so powerful that it always gives us false faith that we are right.

Fear of Public Speaking - Burn the Butterflies in your stomach!

0740 hrs, Monday morning. I was getting prepared to read the thought for the day, followed by the morning prayer to the entire convent school (approx 2000 students, from Kindergarten to class 12th). My hands and legs were shivering to the extent that I started imagining myself collapse on the stage. This imagination led to fumbling, mispronunciation, stammering, perspiration (in the month of December) and in reality, a disaster. Well, I reached class late, as the principal obviously wanted to 'appreciate me for my skills as a speaker'. Guess what...instead of repremanding and shouting at me, she shared few tips on how I can confront an audience fearlessly.

I started putting these tips to use and no points for guessing who won most elocutions and debates in school and college. I would like to share few of these tips with you (not tricks), if you still fear PEOPLE while speaking.

• Prepare your speech several times till you are so comfortable with the content, that you can avoid reading from your notes.
• Video record your speech while practicing.
• Chew some gum before your presentation. It helps in relaxing your mouth muscles
• Do shoulder and neck rolls
• Know your room (size of the room, use of a microphone required or not, etc...)
• Go to the restroom before your speech. I know this sounds funny; however, releasing yourself can help in releasing your stress level as well
• Place your palms under running tap water. The water will ease you of your tension.
• Look at the mirror and admire the beautiful person you are. If you see only the perspiration, wash your face with running cold tap water. you will feel better.
• Take a deep breath at least 3-5 times as soon as you see the auditorium getting packed.
• Remove focus from yourself to the audience...remember they are there to listen to you
• Remember, the most challenging and crucial time is the first minutes of your speech, so do not start with your speech directly. Start with a personalized story, analogy, audio, video or quote. you will be more relaxed thereafter as the audience will now be on your side.
• Make the speech conversational, as if you were talking to a group of known folks. Involving them will make them like you more....indirectly you are motivating yourself.
• When on the stage, use the entire space that has been provided to you. Walk across the stage (not too frequently), so that you cover all sides of the audience.
• Remember to be enthusiastic. If you are dull, the audience will be dull. You attitude is highly contagious.
• Picture the audience in their underwear
• Remember happy moments from your past
• Listen to the music of your choice
• Put pictures of your kids / girlfriend / parents / grandchildren in your notes
• Do not consume caffiene before the speech delivery
• Shake hands and smile with the audience before the programme
• Try not to hold the microphone with your hands during the first 5 minutes
• Make eye contact with the audience. Connect with them. get them to nod their head to acknowledge whatever you say.
• Locate a friend in the audience, whose smile will encourage you to speak better.
• The larger the audience, the larger ansd slower your gestures
• Let your words trigger your actions. Eg. if you are counting, hold out your fingers, etc...
• While speaking, remember to pause at the right places and stress at the right words.
• Dress smartly, for the occasion.
• Do not hold anything in your hands, as you will end up fidgeting with it all the time, resulting in distracting your audience.
• Lastly, remember, you know a lot more than the audience, that is why you are where you are.

Murphy's law states that if something has to go wrong, it will. The best way to combat this, is to follow the 3 P's - Practice, Practice, Practice. If you fail to prepare, remember, you are prepared to fail.